Wilfried Zaha saved perhaps his best performance for Crystal Palace for when it mattered most, as he scored a brace to send the Eagles into the Championship Play-Off Final at the expense of arch-rivals Brighton. Palace boss and football comic Ian Holloway offered his thoughts on the win;
“People had said that I’d lost the dressing room but I know where it is, down the corridor on the left,” he said. “What a load of rubbish. How many others teams have had wobbles? It’s a joke..”
Forever on form; The Fiver, ponders Sir Alex Ferguson’s imminent retirement and the warm and fuzzy laudations of the UK’s “big papers.”
”So farewell then, Lord Ferg. You have decided to retire and as is customary in such circumstances will no doubt be presented with an expensive watch … which is kind of ironic because you won’t need one now that you have decided that a life spent standing on touchlines, vigorously pointing at one while shouting at referees is no longer the life for you..
..How many of the tributes to Lord Ferg that will appear in tomorrow’s newspapers mention wine, because Lord Ferg once mentioned that he likes wine? Will hacks banned from his Friday briefings continue to be banned or be allowed back in once there’s a new sheriff in town? Who will patronise Sky Sports reporter Geoff Shreeves by patting him on the shoulder and saying “well done” for asking questions? Will anyone be brave enough to present Lord Ferg with a mounted, solid gold Revlon 9142CU Powerdry 2000 hair dryer as his retirement gift, because it would actually be quite funny and we’re curious to see what would happen next?..”
Caricatures of Footballing personalities from Argentina, Brazil and Chavez FC.
Illustration: Gonza Rodriguez